It's like God shit irony all over that family
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I'm sobbing to NWA
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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