Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
