just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
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Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
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She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
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