So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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