I CAN MOONWALK!
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize