question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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