I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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