Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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