And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Randomize
