Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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