just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
