i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
