you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
