I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
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