I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
