I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I just found a bag of teeth...
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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