Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
