at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
