Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
