I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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