I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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