You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
