Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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