She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Operation Purity has been aborted
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
