My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
