I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
