who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
