you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
