i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Randomize
