It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
