I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Sober January is a disaster.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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