SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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