His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
