this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
