I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize