Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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