i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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