it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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