wake up i wanna do it froggy style
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
We have started to decorate penises.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
