PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
