you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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