tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
