remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
