Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
