alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
