so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
