remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
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I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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