I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
