i dont even know how to be here
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
