Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
