i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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