Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Randomize
