he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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