How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Randomize
