Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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