sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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