I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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