I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
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You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
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I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
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