my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
