it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
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Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
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When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
It's no shave November. This is our time.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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